“Never again.” That seems to be kind of a theme every time I go to the medical building. Actually, it’s sort of a downer. The Therapists say things to make me think, “Never again will I play the piano,” “Never again will I be able to sing,” “Never again will I walk like a normal person.” Never again. Today there was a new one.
About five years ago, on a business trip to Milpitas, my ears suddenly got that clogged up feeling. Now typically, that kind of altitude change leaves one with just a temporary discomfort until one’s ears,’ “pop.” So I waited and waited, used nasal sprays and decongestants, but my ears never “popped,” instead, they seemed to get worse. Soon, I developed an awful ringing in my ear that wouldn’t go away. One doctor suggested that it was my eustachian tubes that were clogged and that there was an operation that could relieve the pressure. I put it off, continuing decongestants, not wanting to pay for an expensive operation.
Fast forward about five or six years. Since the stroke maxed out our deductible long ago, I figured that I might as well get as many things fixed as I could. That’s when I received the bad news. After a hearing test, the technician was absolutely positive that my hearing loss was not a temporary result of allergies or pressure, but a significant permanent loss probably brought on by a virus. Not exactly the news I was hoping for.
Losing some of your hearing, for most people, is not unsurmountable. But for someone who is a musician, it’s kind of like a chef losing his sense of taste, or an artist becoming blind. It was devastating news to me. “Never again.”
It just kept getting worse. The technician wanted us to bring in our 3 and 4 ½-year-old children to have them tested, just in case it was hereditary. That’s like the worst type the thing a parent wants to hear. So, what do I do now? Why did God allow this to happen?
The Bible gives an account of a family facing what they thought was a “never again” situation. Mary, Martha, and Lazarus were brother and sisters, with whom Jesus had a very close personal relationship. Jesus, being far away on business, had a messenger sent to him saying, “Lazarus, whom you love, is sick.” The idea was that Jesus would come immediately and heal him before he got any worse. Jesus, however, did something very strange, he purposely stayed in the place where he was longer, seemingly ignoring the sisters’ urgent request. Why did Jesus wait?
Sometimes God allows a dream to die. It doesn’t make sense from a human perspective. If Jesus had only come when asked, he could’ve healed his friend. But by the time Jesus showed up, Lazarus was long gone. In fact, he had died and been buried for 4 days in a tomb, with a heavy stone rolled over the front.
Perhaps in the grander scheme of things, God has to allow some dreams to die in order to do even greater things. In this case, Jesus purposely allowed His friend to die so that He could arrive at the tomb, tell them to remove the stone, and speak those famous history-altering words, “Lazarus, come forth!” The fact is, Jesus wanted to do something much greater than healing someone. He wanted to raise Lazarus from the dead.
Why did Jesus allow part of my hearing to die? I don’t know. I know that he can restore me fully if that’s what He wants. He has the power and authority to do so. What I do know is this, that my Father’s plans for me are always good, always in my best interest. Let me close with these words:
“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.” – 1 Cor 2:9