My wife blessed me the other day. Because of my stroke, I am currently quite disabled and need her help almost all the time. Therefore, when I saw a golden opportunity to be close to both my children at once, I requested her help and she blessed my socks off!
My little four-year-old adores the tablet his Uncle Jonathan gave us. Micah actually climbed into bed with me and began playing a video game, interacting with me as we took turns. At the same time, I noticed my little girl sprawled out on the floor drinking her milk. I thought to myself, wouldn’t it be wonderful to have both children in my arms at the same time? And so my wife blessed me, picked up our daughter and put her in my left arm. So there we were, my boy on my right, my girl on my left, all watching animated Korean videos of their latest cartoon favorite, singing children’s songs in English. That might be the closest to Heaven on Earth!
Now I realize that some may think, “Tim must be in massive denial! He’s just putting on a good front, but he must be depressed, despairing, and rageful.” That’s what I would think. Let me try to put this objectively. Yes, it is true that I cannot do 90% of what I took for granted two months ago; however, every other day, loving and caring people come by with tenderly prepared meals. We are actually exhausted from talking to the many, many friends who want to visit, help, pray, and babysit for us. (Don’t take it the wrong way, we love you!) Even though Lillian and I have not been able to work for months, God has not stopped providing for our every need.
Sure, there may be some things I don’t have, and we are thinking about selling possessions and downsizing, but we literally have more than we need. We are spending time together as a family, trying to improve our relationships, all the while, being surprised by the audacious kindness of individuals like you! Not a day goes by that God does not remind us of His perfect and intricate care, even sending therapists to my home. As a result, I am getting stronger almost daily.
I’m still praying that God would make me a better man, yes, even a healthier man post-stroke than before. Just between you and me, I’m praying for a miraculous 125% recovery. (I know that would be hard to quantify, but that’s what I’m praying for). Some of you may laugh. I don’t blame you. But seriously, when I look at how good I have it now compared to two and a half months ago, I am reminded of this beautiful passage of scripture in the Psalms:
Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure.
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
surely I have a delightful inheritance…m
because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead,
nor will you let your faithful one see decay.
You make known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand. - Psalm 16:5,6,10,11
What can I say? …. I am blessed!