That’s what people tell me, people with brain injuries that is. You know, people with strokes or those who have had really serious concussions. In the long recovery process, there are days where you feel wonderful, energetic, full of life, and then there are days that you feel like !@#$!. Good days and bad days. Yesterday was a good day. I went to a young friend’s wedding. It was in a picturesque, enchanting spot surrounded by family and friends and warm wishes. I felt good. I had energy. I could walk and talk. Yesterday was a good day.
They say, after a good day, you will often have a bad day. Today is one of those. I didn’t have enough rest last night. I had to wake up early and the kids were crazy. I felt tired, a little nauseous, weak, I even feared, “Oh, what if I’m having another stroke?” Today, not so good.
You know, a mature relationship with God is something like that. At first, you go through a wonderful honeymoon. Usually, you’re young and idealistic, God is everywhere and in everything, and Life is sunshine and lollipops. You feel you can take on the world. Other times, it seems like God plays hide and seek. The sky turns gray as we go through challenges and trials that we don’t understand. We don’t have the warm fuzzies that we did before, and we ask ourselves, sometimes even out loud, “Where are you, God? Have you forgotten me? Where are You when I need you the most?” The ugly monster of self-pity raises its head and bares its fangs and we wonder if we have the wherewithal to keep going when the wall hits us in the face.
But it is in those most despairing moments that real character and maturity is forged in the Crucible of Trial. “Where are you, God?” The answer is, “I am here.” There was an account in the Bible where Moses asks God, “But whom shall I say sent me?” And God replies, “I Am has sent you.”
“I Am.” Not, “I Was.” Not even, “I Will Be,” but, “I Am.” For this moment in time, in spite of the sickness, in spite of the recession, in spite of the loss of your job, in spite of the offensive jerk getting the promotion before you, in spite of your pain or disappointment or heartbreak, I Am, and I am enough for you, for now.
That is the big test of faith isn’t it? Am I willing enough, humble enough, bold enough, heroic enough to trust that in spite of the circumstances that I see with my physical eyes, that somewhere above the dark ominous clouds that surround me, there is a God who loves me and has a wonderful plan for my life? The Bible says, “we walk by faith, and not by sight,” (2 Cor 5:7) and it is only during these times of seeming darkness when the winds and waves rage (Matt 14:30), that our character and our faith are purified and proven (James 1:2-4). I have to make an intentional choice: Do I believe what my limited vision allows me to see, or do I believe what I know to be true?
Can I (right now) take this next step in obedience and faith? James tells us that faith without works, belief without action, is dead. How many of us find ourselves at such a fork in the road where we have to choose between the easy route or the one that will prove what we say we believe? Will I walk by faith and not by sight?
“Let us put every thing out of our lives that keeps us from doing what we should. Let us keep running in the race that God has planned for us.” – Hebrews 12:1 (NLV) See also Hebrews 11.