Category: health updates

In one of my father-in-law’s favorite musicals, The Sound of Music, Julie Andrews sings about raindrops on roses, whiskers on kittens, crisp apple strudels and…mittens. The idea behind the song is that when faced with challenges and fears, one can find relief and strength in merely thinking about his or her favorite things. I can make the bad things go away if I just think about things that make me happy. We all have such lists, whether they are explicit or tucked away in our subconscious.  Somehow, the complicated circuitry of our brains gets meshed with memories, conscious and otherwise, in our minds. This creates a haven, a fortress where we are safe from, “the bite of the dog, the sting of the bee, and feelings of sadness…” or so the song goes.

What are your favorite things? And do our lives consist of such things? I think back on some of mine: the thrill of battling a fish fighting for its life,  flaky yet chewy green onion pancakes, dumplings at once both juicy and crispy, losing myself in playing music and singing with all my heart, taking a long walk on the beach, holding my wife, chasing after my kids as they squeal with laughter and hoisting them up on my shoulders, Roma’s pizza… These are a few of my favorite things. The fact of the matter is that I cannot experience any one of these right now. The list goes on.

Now please don’t get me wrong. I’m very grateful for all that God has spared and is restoring in me. I know many who have it so much worse than I do. Besides, God is making me better almost daily. I’m grateful and I praise His name in public every chance I get. I’m even learning to enjoy salads with no carbs! But my point is simply this: if my life consisted of the things aforementioned, then right now, I would have little reason for living. 

God, in His infinite love and wisdom, has summoned a wonderfully terrible test for me. Eight months ago, He radically turned my world upside down by taking away many of my favorite things in one devastating swoop. What is my response? Will I still be true to the Giver of blessings even if He allows blessings to be taken away?

This question leaps out of theory into reality when the dangers or difficulties  we face become adult-sized. What if the challenges are bigger and more real than barking dogs, passing storms, or insect bites? What if sickness, lingering pain or severe disability raises its ugly head? What if I’m faced with the sudden devastating loss of something or someone that means more to me than everything else in life? What if all my favorite things are gone? Can I go on? I remember a young woman I met in Bible school who lost her husband shortly after her honeymoon. I have no idea how she could remain sane let alone devoted to her God.

Jesus puts it this way. Even when one has an abundance, one’s life does not consist of these things (Luke 12:15). Even spiritual power and authority are not the end all. Jesus says, “Do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven” (Luke 10:20). Paul put his relationship with Christ singularly at the very top of his list. “Now I think that all things are worth nothing compared with the greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. Because of Christ, I lost all these things, and now I know that they are all worthless trash. All I want now is Christ” (Philippians 3:8). Simply put, make Jesus our favorite thing and we can face any and all of life’s challenges… and overcome.

Now I don’t wanna make myself sound like some brave spiritual giant. The fact of the matter is this whole experience has shown me how weak I really am. Honestly, I’m a wimp. I’m very glad that the Lord is compassionate and gracious (Psalm 145:8-9). He won’t allow me to go through a temptation beyond what I can bear (1 Corinthians 10:13), but will always provide a way out. 

I actually believe we have turned a corner and God is healing me at a more visibly rapid pace now than ever before. It is now time to aggressively rebuild the strength, dexterity, and coordination to my left side. I believe this is not because I’ve demonstrated the patience of Job, but rather because God, in His divine mercy, knows that I’m maxed out and can’t take anymore. He is a compassionate Father and He remembers that I’m but dust (Psalm 103:13-14). I, emulating the Apostle Paul, boast in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). But unlike the Great Apostle, I’m tapping out early. See 2 Corinthians 11:23-31. May God’s power be perfected in me. The Lord is good and His love endures forever (Psalm 136:1).

Thank you so much for your support and prayers. May we all grow in making Jesus our most favorite thing.

Family Night is my favorite. I ask my wife for them as much as I can. I know it’s cliché but it often takes a major life event to help one gain a better perspective on what’s really important. You may remember when I recounted the ambulance ride that took me away that terrible afternoon. For a moment in time, I really didn’t know if I was going to come back. In my mind’s eye, I saw friends of mine who had passed on before me. I could see their faces in heaven awaiting me. I was in great pain, nauseous, and confused. I knew that if I survived, it would be a long, painful, and arduous journey with no guarantee of ever living a normal life again. I felt that I had served the Lord as best as I could and I wanted to go home to Heaven. But then I saw the faces of my two little children and my wife, and I thought of Paul’s words,…“For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain (NIV) … But for your sakes, it is better that I continue to live.” (NLT) – see Philippians 1:21-24. And so I cried out to Jesus, “Please, I can’t leave my family yet. Have mercy on me and bring me back alive to be their daddy!”

Of course, if you’ve been following the blogs, you know the craziness and angst of the last seven and a half months. (If you’ve missed some, you can find them all in order on our website… it might be great for your insomnia!) Now, I’m here and God is making me better week by week. Sometimes, it’s hard to appreciate since the progress feels snail’s-pace-slow, but I do see it as I look back. Over seven months ago, I came home in a wheelchair, unable to lift my left arm. There was a slight droop on the left side of my face, and I couldn’t even say my wife’s name. When I did speak, it was slurred, and I could barely speak over a whisper for most of the day. My left hand was totally useless. I couldn’t move my fingers or toes except for half a centimeter of movement in my index finger. My left leg was so weak I considered asking someone to build me a ramp to get me over the half-inch threshold under my front door. I felt literally like half a man.

Now, for the most part, I can walk all day without a cane, let alone a wheelchair. I can lift my left arm and God is gradually returning the use of my fingers. I can even wiggle my toes! I even started driving again. Those who speak to me now say they can’t detect anything abnormal, though I still think the stroke left me with a slight southern drawl. I’m even singing kid’s praise songs with my children such as, “Peace Like a River,” “The B-I-B-L-E,” and “What a Mighty God We Serve,” although I’m in no shape to sing the songs from my senior recital in college.

Praise God, although I’m not out of the woods yet. I suffer from what they call hyper-sensitivity. I feel everything amplified, although my left side remains annoyingly numb. Go figure. This presents challenges as the stroke may have contributed to my agony with gout, cracked teeth, root canal, frozen shoulder, arthritic right shoulder, prostate issues, overactive bladder, sleepless nights, and constipation!! (among other things) Whew!  Still, God is FAITHFUL and I THANK Him for His gracious healing! I actually had a much-improved night’s sleep.  🙂

But what I really wanted to share with you had to do with a recent family night. “Family night” usually consists of the four of us eating together at the cheapest place we can find. (Of course, it’s gotta be low carb for me). It’s casual, but it’s sweet. Well, this last family night found us at a local chain of wing joints that in my son’s 5-year lifetime, has exploded from one humble little store to over 16 restaurants!

Typically, I would be a little jealous of this chain’s success. I would’ve left the meal wondering, “Did I somehow miss God’s will for my life? Why didn’t God give me overwhelming success in ministry as these people enjoyed in business?” But this night was different. We finished our meal and went out to the car. It was cold and rainy as I held my little girl’s hand while my wife loaded my handsome boy into his carseat. Jojo sweetly waited beside me, allowing my numb left hand to squeeze her tiny little right hand in the drizzling rain. It then occurred to me that about four months ago, I couldn’t even make a fist. My fingers couldn’t bend. I remember when my left hand would fall off the armrest of my wheelchair and my fingers would get caught in the spokes. I didn’t even have enough strength to carry a small paperback book to the car. Now, I was squeezing my little girl’s hand in the rain and actually feeling her little fingers squeezing me back. It was beautiful. God is so good to me!

The Lord is compassionate and gracious,

    slow to anger, abounding in love.

He will not always accuse,

    nor will he harbor his anger forever;

he does not treat us as our sins deserve

    or repay us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,

    so great is his love for those who fear him;

as far as the east is from the west,

    so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

As a father has compassion on his children,

    so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;

for he knows how we are formed,

    he remembers that we are dust. – Psalm 103:8-14

I have an amazing wife. She is wonderfully loyal, faithful to a fault, smart and talented, always putting others first. She serves us constantly, we three kids: the boy, the baby girl, and me. We haven’t even been married a decade. What she has been through these last 8 years is not your typical newly married stuff.

Even before we got married, she stood faithfully beside me through some roller coaster experiences. All in all, we’ve spent countless nights up working late. We’ve also had to wake up in the wee early hours of the morning to travel to different cities to speak on time for early worship services. She’s been by my side when we put in full-time hours for part-time pay. She stood by me when I’ve been attacked by board members, secretly betrayed by church leaders, and fired suddenly without any notice. We’ve experienced the innocence of kids’ ministry, the drama of youth ministry, the politics of working with adults, and even spent time trying our very best with 90-year-olds. Our last stint was so stressful, it put me in the hospital with a stroke. I would think that the last 7 months of our lives would be the farthest thing from the typical fantasy of the average bride-to-be. I’m sure glad we kept the part about, “For better or for worse, in sickness and in health…,” in our vows. She swears that she’s not planning on leaving me. Why she doesn’t go home to Mother, I’ll never know. I’m so fortunate God has blessed me with her.

But you know, she’s not perfect. She occasionally falls short of my (unrealistic) expectations. Sometimes she forgets things I explicitly ask her to do. Sometimes she even allows our ever screaming, always hyper, crazy, strong-willed children get the best of her. Yet, even though she’s not perfect, I’m beginning to see that her little imperfections are actually perfect for me. I’m figuring out that her “flaws” perfectly line up with the areas of my character that need the most work!

One of my favorite Bible teachers, Rick Warren, puts it this way. God’s purpose is not for our comfort, but for our character. Marriage is not so much for our happiness, but for our holiness. So even when my wife fails to be the idealized superhuman, flawless wife I want her to be, she is exactly the right woman for me. God has so perfectly put us together to make me more like my big brother, Jesus Christ. I am so very blessed to have her by my side, so patient with my bumbling attempts and bull-headed blunders, so forgiving and faithful day after day. I could hope for no one better in a thousand lifetimes. I am a “lucky” man!

How about you my faithful friend? Who might you be thankful for this Holiday season? It might be the “perfect” time to let them know.
So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing. – 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NLT)

That’s what they told me at the rehab hospital. The big muscles come first, then the little ones. Thus, the legs come back before the arms do, the shoulder comes back before the forearm does, and the little fingers come last. Unfortunately, for a pianist, your fingers are your first concern.

I remember when a friend of mine got terribly stabbed. He was a violinist. In the Emergency Room, he pleaded with a doctor, “Please save my hands; I play the violin.” Thank God. He got one of the best hand surgeons in the area and they saved his ability to play.

As for me, no one can give me any guarantee. What they’ve always told me is, “Use it or lose it. It stops getting better when it stops getting better.” It would be so reassuring  for a doctor to tell me, “Oh, you’ll make a full recovery.” But I don’t have that. All I get is, “We don’t know how much progress you’ll make. Everybody is different.” I must press on, not knowing how much I’ll ever get back. All they tell me is that the fingers come last.

But I had the tiniest glimmer of hope this morning. Like I mentioned before, I’ve been doing fundamental finger exercises on the piano. But with these finger exercises, I have no ability to lift my fingers. What I do is lift my entire left arm, my elbow askew, and stab at the piano, trying to get the right finger to come down on the right key. Sometimes I get it, sometimes I don’t. What happened this morning was a first.

For the longest time, the only finger I could actually move up-and-down was my index finger. In the beginning, the movement was less than a centimeter. Now, I can raise and lower it much better. My other fingers,  however, could not be raised. It’s like they were glued down. But this morning, I tried something new. Holding down all the fingers in my left hand, and focusing on moving just one finger at a time, … it happened! I saw the tiniest movement in the middle finger of my left hand. Were my eyes playing tricks on me? I tried it again, summoning all my mental strength. I focused on just that one finger…  YES! It moved the smallest fraction of a centimeter. Next, I tried my ring finger. That one came around with great effort, but at least it took less effort than the middle finger! My pinky seemed to rejoice as it gladly moved almost half an inch! Maybe God is giving me a glimmer of hope.

Not too long ago, I did a search on the internet and found footage of a man addressing a group of doctors from a piano. This man was a professional pianist and had experienced a stroke that took out his right side. Yet, here he was on stage, playing the piano with all of the dexterity, beauty, and power he had possessed before the stroke! He told the group of doctors before him that because of the neuroplasticity of the brain, he was able to practice his way back to the level of skill and expertise he enjoyed before the stroke. It was a long process though, and improvements were incremental. Maybe that’s where I’m at. Baby steps. More frustrating, tedious, disheartening baby steps. But like a friend of mine told me, “Inch by inch, anything’s a cinch!” Well maybe not a cinch, but it puts things in a better perspective. Maybe full recovery is a possibility if I persevere and don’t give up. It reminds one of Galatians 6:9, doesn’t it?

Please pray for me that I will not become discouraged and that I persevere with all my exercises and therapies, and many doctors’ appointments. Pray also for healing concerning other pestering health issues that may or may not be directly related to the stroke. God bless you all.

I thank my God in all my remembrance of you.” – Philippians 1:3 (NASB)

I wanted to live on a houseboat. That was the dream, to simplify and minimize life so that we could spend our time ministering in any way, shape, or form we felt God leading us at the time. That, and fishing from my backyard. No worries about paychecks or salaries, or lots of bills, just free to serve. The idea was to sell our house (which had enjoyed good appreciation) and ride out the coming recession floating on the Delta. (Kind of a combination of Tiny House Nation and Marie Kondo, but in a boat.) But the more we thought about it, the more we realized our high energy and rambunctious preschoolers were not seaworthy. Still, the idea of simplifying, downsizing, and focusing on ministry and our rapidly growing children allured me. I wanted to capitalize on the money tied up in the house. I was afraid of depreciation. But where would we live? I was already blessed with a low mortgage payment.

You see, years ago, I felt prompted to take a risk on a humble home in a gentrifying neighborhood in the Bay Area, and through a miraculous series of events, the risk paid off. I was able to purchase our existing home with a large down payment, locking in a low interest rate. We enjoyed the house for 11 years, using it as a base for ministry. We hosted many youth events and overnighters. One youth called my house, “The happiest place on Earth!”

But now things were different. Though I’m older than the average parent of preschoolers, we’re in that special time of life where our kids want to be close to us all the time. We too, wanted to spend as much time with them as possible. The house seemed big, more than we needed currently. But rents were high. What could we do?  Now you may not know this, but Elk Grove (the city where we live) has a few affordable income apartments. Since my wife and I were only receiving part-time pay, we figured we could qualify. Looking into it, the main problem was the huge waiting lists. Not only were the apartments sought after by many, but the residents didn’t want to leave. The chances of actually getting an apartment seemed slim to none.

Then the stroke hit. All the stress I was going through professionally, emotionally, and physically, resulted in destroying part of my brain. The MRI showed a dead spot the size of a quarter in the pons area on the right side of my brain, thus paralyzing my left side and taking away all I depended on for my livelihood. I was in no shape to move. At the same time, because of the stroke, we were both not working. Eventually our money would run out. What would we do?

Months passed. Slowly, very slowly, God started to heal me. Suddenly, out of the blue, a woman from a cute affordable housing complex called my wife and said we had been bumped from number 19 on the waiting list to number 2. Furthermore, she told my wife that she did not receive a response from the people ahead of us, thus it seemed very likely that we would have an apartment soon. We thought it was a miracle! Perhaps God was making it possible for us to sell our house and move after all! Still, the job was Herculean. Though it was very difficult for my wife to leave the house she dearly loved, full of cherished memories, we decided we had to give it a shot, and so trinket by trinket, room by room, she and her helper, Gabriela, sorted, threw out, gave away, and boxed up most of our belongings in neat piles in the garage. We just needed the final paperwork to go through.

But as we waited, the screening committee asked for more and more documents. What seemed like a slam dunk now grew more and more complicated. Our assets were not the problem, we were told that the qualification was income-based, and we had little salary-based income. The problem, in their eyes, was the tremendous blessings from you, our friends and family. It was unthinkable to them, even suspect, that we had such an outpouring of loving support from the Family of God. Because God moved so many of you to give to us in our time of need, they decided to count your sacrificial gifts as income. Thus, we were disqualified because we were too blessed! Praise God. God has been using you to keep us afloat, and we are so grateful.

Long story short…ish, we’re not moving after all. We have to trust that God loves us and wants the best for us. Maybe it was all a test? We don’t know. All we know is that His love is our anchor. We look forward to what’s next. Special thanks to those who volunteered to help us move to our new place.

Well, what can I learn from this roller coaster ride?

1.       We need to hold blessings lightly. During this Thanksgiving season, it is commonplace to thank God for all His material blessings. That is good, but His greatest blessings are always spiritual in nature, not only material. When we were faced with the challenge of letting go of our house of 11 years, the logistics of how to get rid of all our stuff was a major obstacle. David Jeremiah talks about “traveling light.” How wonderful would it be if we weren’t shackled down to things and thus free to do whatever God wanted, whenever He called us to do it. Most of us suburbanites have way too many bills, obligations, and unnecessary attachments that keep us from running our race with all the strength we have. When we stand before God, I believe many of us will regret all the wasted money, energy, and time we spent on matters trivial in the light of eternity. Hebrews 12 says, “let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.” Are we running the race God has set before us, or some other race?

2.       Trust in the Dreamgiver, even when the dream seems to die. Joseph in the Bible had a dream from God at the tender age of 17. But did God bring that dream to pass right away? First, Joseph had to be betrayed by his brothers, sold into slavery, removed from home, accused of a crime he didn’t commit, spent time in prison, altogether waiting almost 30 years until his dream finally came to pass. Are you facing a momentary disappointment; a confusing, even bewildering series of events that tempts you to question God and His love for you? Is there a long-cherished dream of yours that seems to have died before your eyes? If that dream is from God, hold on. The one who gave you that dream is faithful to bring it to pass. God answers prayers in three ways: “Yes, No, and Not Yet.” “Not yet,” doesn’t mean, “Not ever.” Galatians 6:9 says, “So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.“ Hold on, my friend, and put your hope where it belongs, in the hand of God.

This is just a shout out to thank all our loving network of family, friends, and associates. God keeps on blessing us through you. Thank you so much. 
We continue to receive notes of encouragement and generous gifts, both financial and thoughtful gifts of service. We are so grateful for these unexpected and sacrificial blessings. Our deepest prayer is that God will bless you until your cups overflow. We could never repay such kindness in this lifetime. 

Thank you again.

Tim, Lillian, Micah, & Jojo

The other day, as my kids were lying down in the middle of my mom’s living room, my little girl asked me, “Are you big and strong yet, Daddy?”

It caught me off guard. “Uh… not quite yet, Sweetie, but Daddy’s getting better.”

My son then piped up. “[Sigh,] This stroke is taking a long time! Why does it take so long?” Not knowing quite how to answer him, I mumbled something about that’s why we need to pray. My son then asked, “Do we pray so that your stroke will be healed faster?”

“…Uh, yes son, please do that.”

I was floored. My son had put into simple words what I was feeling. “Why so long, God? I know You hear my prayers. In the Bible, You healed people miraculously, immediately, and completely. Why not me? Why not now?” I was glad my children soon got distracted with something else.

All through that day, I continued to ponder the question. “What is taking You so long?” Sure, I know it probably has something to do with character building or patience, or some awful lesson that I’ve always tried to avoid. What would it hurt if God, just for once, gave me what I wanted, when I wanted it, the way I wanted it?

My answer came later that night. It was family night, and so we took the kids to their favorite bookstore. This bookstore happens to be their favorite because it also carries many toys. Usually they love it. Somehow, we conditioned them to think that the toys at the bookstore were only to play with while they were there. There would always come the time when the toys were to go back to the shelves where they belonged and we would go home. Usually it works. This time, it didn’t.

Why? Because the boy saw IT. Not just any toy, but THE TOY. See, he’s crazy about Battlebots. It’s a TV series that pitted real engineers against one another by having them create battling robots that destroy each other inside a plexiglass-contained arena. There are catchy names, flying chunks of metal, fire breathing mechanical monsters, and screaming announcers. To be completely honest, it was I who turned the boy onto the show in the first place. But that was when we had Cable. Now, the boy knows how to surf the net and look for video clips of his favorite bots: “Tombstone,” “Witch Doctor,” and “Ice Wave.” He paces back and forth on the living room floor spinning his hands pretending to be a “bot.” “Look, Daddy, look! I’m a Battlebot!” And then he dramatically acts out a fiery knock-out blow.

He’s been bugging us for a toy arena with two remote controlled bots. It was completely unexpected that he would find it at this bookstore. Of course, he wanted to take it home right then and there. The box was damaged, the toy was overpriced, and although expensive, we were planning on giving it to him for Christmas. He did not take the idea of waiting well. By the time I saw him, he was clutching the box, screaming and sobbing uncontrollably. “But I want it now! Why can’t I have it now?!” With his face drenched with tears, I tried to reason with him, explaining that we were planning on getting it for him, just not now. He just cried louder. Finally, I told my wife to take him outside while I accompanied my little girl to put her stuffed animals back on the shelves where they would “sleep for the night.” 

Ten minutes later, he was still sobbing when I went outside to see him and Mommy. Here was the toy that he fantasized about all day long. He played Battlebots. He wanted to be a Battlebot. And when at long last, he finds his life’s greatest passion, his Daddy says … “No. Not yet.” Of course he grieved as though his best friend died. Believe me, it was tough for me to stick to my guns and not give into my poor, heartbroken child.

On the way home, it occurred to me that I was an awful lot like my son. “Why can’t God heal me now? Why does it take so long? What good is there in all these other prolonged and painful health problems? Why doesn’t God just put an end to all my suffering and discomfort?”

Like my son, I did not understand the benefit of waiting. (James 1:2-4) From his perspective, he was unable to see Christmas morning, when all the other children will be opening up their gifts and he had none. From his perspective, he couldn’t appreciate the life lesson of delayed gratification. He didn’t understand that if we did give him everything he wanted, whenever he wanted, that it would be a terrible disservice to him in the future. He couldn’t possibly fathom the benefits of self-discipline, the joy of anticipation, and that learning to wait was crucial to his development as a person.

Likewise, from my earthly perspective, there is no way for me to fully know why God does or doesn’t do what I want. (Isaiah 55:9) The fact of the matter is that God always answers the prayers of His children, but His answers are, “Yes,” “No,” and “Wait.” I like “yes,” I don’t like “no,” and “wait” drives me up a wall. But those feelings reveal my immaturity. There’s no way I could understand God’s ways. I don’t see what He sees. I don’t know what He knows. And if I’m to have the faith that pleases God, I have to believe that He loves me even when I’m disappointed, even when I suffer loss, even when the pain doesn’t end, even when my circumstances look dire. Can I believe that God loves me even when He says, “No”?

Are you going through a period of frustration, confusion, or disappointment? Do you cry out to God again and again without the answer you long to receive? Are you going through a period where the pain seems to never end? Then look up and know that behind the dark clouds there is a God who loves you and still has a wonderful plan for you. If you are His child, all that He allows in your life will somehow result in your ultimate good forever and ever. Though everything around you may tell you otherwise, believe that your Heavenly Father loves you. He proved it on the cross. Hold onto His love and don’t let go.

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you. Again I will build you, and you shall be built,…” – Jeremiah 31:3-4

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” – Deuteronomy 31:6

I started reading Job again today. I’ve been avoiding it simply because “Patience through Suffering” may be what I need, but it’s not what I want. Job was known as the greatest man from the East. Maybe he was Chinese! In any case, the Bible says he was exemplary in wealth, righteousness, and character. In fact, he was God’s poster-child of what a man should be. The Bible calls him blameless. And what did he get for it?

In one fell swoop, he lost all of his immense wealth, and unthinkably, even his ten children! Then, if that wasn’t enough, from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet, painful pus-filled boils appeared that gave him constant agony. So great was his suffering that his own wife told him to, “Curse God and die!” Yet, the Bible tells us that in all of his suffering, Job refused to blame God. In fact, it was he that coined the phrase, “The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away. Blessed be the name of the LORD.” – Job 1:21 NASB

Recently, my son remarked to me that the stroke is taking a long time. “Daddy, are you well yet?” Frankly, words like that strike fear in my heart. I would be horrified to have my daughter’s earliest memories of me being a weak, crippled, and feeble man. From talking with others, I am most likely still in the early stages of my recovery. It is a long and grueling trial. Even though as a family, we’re going through the greatest challenge we’ve ever faced, I can tell that I hope I never get tested like Job did. I am so very thankful that my wife and children are healthy and alive!

But reading Job again, there’s something that I didn’t appreciate before. Job gets slammed not because he did something morally wrong or stupid, or even made an error in judgment. Job gets tested because God is proud of him! It is because of Job’s exemplary love and devotion to God that Satan obnoxiously challenges God to let him test Job.

When Job’s three friends show up, they pour salt into his wounds. They tell him that surely his misfortune is the result of gross wrongdoing. You know the saying, “With friends like these, who needs enemies?” Don’t get me wrong, many times our misfortune is the result of stupid things we’ve done. Perhaps there are times that we’ve known the right thing to do, but we have done the wrong thing anyway, and thus suffer the consequences. But sometimes we get the rug pulled out from under our feet when we are doing the right things. Sometimes people take advantage of us and betray us. Sometimes we are trying our very best, and still, things turn sour. Sometimes it feels as though God Himself has turned His back on us. It is during those times that we need to remember how the story of Job ends. In the end of the story, God rebukes Job’s three useless friends, and after Job intercedes for them, God blesses Job with twice as much as he lost. Furthermore, Job has 10 new children and then lives to a grand old age, even seeing his great great grandchildren with his reputation sterling and intact.

Do you ever feel like Job? Have you been stolen from, victimized, or stabbed in the back? Or maybe, even though you’ve done all the right things you know how to do, and have been faithful to God, you feel like things haven’t turned out for you? Remember Job. God’s not done with your story yet! Hang in there. Remain faithful and wait for the epilogue. God’s blessings are coming your way! (Galatians 6:9)

But maybe we can learn from Job’s friends as well. His friends should have been an encouragement. They could have prayed for him, they could have sat beside him, giving him companionship. But instead, they gave him a bunch of really bad advice. When we have opportunity, let’s give support rather than advice. Let’s not be a “Job’s counselor.”

In any case, there are practical lessons to learn. If you’re suffering for doing the right things, don’t give up. Hang in there. God is aware of your suffering and he will reward you accordingly. If you have an opportunity to pray for and comfort someone, don’t lecture them or give them advice. They need your encouragement and hope.

“And so the Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part… and Job died an old man, full of years.” – Job 42:12-17

I’m a little embarrassed to admit that I secretly aspired for greatness. I know that might sound strange since good Christians ought to be humble, but there were a few times growing up that I thought I’d eventually have some kind of fame and notoriety, perhaps as a preacher, singer, songwriter, or something. As the evangelist, Luis Palau put it, I wanted to “dream great dreams for God and attempt great things for God.”

Tonight was family night. And by that, I mean we go out to an All-You-Can-Eat buffet that the kids like. (Daddy likes it because it only costs $1.99 for both kids!) They get to eat all their staples: tater tots, french fries, grilled cheese, popcorn shrimp, and of course LOTS of soft serve. I have to be very careful of course, for me lots of salad, raw broccoli and no carbs… stay away from the carbs!  But at least I can eat meat.😊

On the radio, in the background, are all the greatest hits of my youth. It reminded me of my young aspirations of being a Christian pop star.  I was a late bloomer, I didn’t discover singing until late in high school and really didn’t develop my talent until college. Since I was classically trained, I was on my own as far as developing pop music chops. When I heard a song I liked on the radio, I would go to the piano and figure it out, singing along trying to outdo the famous person that I was hearing.  I wouldn’t rest until in my mind at least, I sounded as good or better than the recording.

Typically, hearing those old songs might leave me with melancholy depression thinking that all my opportunities are now long gone. Especially now with a stroke, now any idealistic dreams were dashed against the rocks of reality. But praise God, my children came to my rescue. My beautiful little girl took my hand as we went to get ice cream. Not to be outdone by his little sister, my handsome boy rushed to my other side. I walked through the restaurant with one child in each hand as Lionel Richie was singing in the background.  And you know what?… I wouldn’t have traded places with him for a moment.

A little over 6 months ago, they pulled me away in an ambulance and I begged Jesus to let me live – Not because I was afraid to die, but because I had a young wife and very young kids I would leave behind. In that moment, I saw with precise clarity what was important. It wasn’t fame or fortune, power or success, the pleasing of other people, or accomplishments. I just wanted to come back and be their daddy. My God is so good to me. And you know what? He wants to be good to every single one of us. Might there be something we’re clinging onto that’s keeping us from God’s greater blessings?

“What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived” — the things God has prepared for those who love him–” 1 Corinthians 2:9

As you may know, I have had many many ailments and afflictions lately. Recently, I subjected myself to a free x-ray and spinal exam at a local chiropractor. The results came back and they do not look good.

My neck is ramrod straight, where it’s supposed to be curved. My spine is crooked where it’s supposed to be straight. In fact, the chiropractor said that she thought my misalignment might have been the cause of the stroke. She said that this type of damage could only be caused by many years of prolonged stress. The chiropractor is sure that my misalignment is the cause of my ailments and is very confident she can help me, but of course it is a commitment of time and money. It is expensive and our insurance doesn’t cover it.

Please pray that God will give me wisdom and discernment concerning this matter. My hope is in Psalm 34:19 which states, “Many are the afflictions of the righteous but the Lord delivers him out of them all.”

Thank you so much for your kindness and prayers.