It’s been six months and one day since I had my stroke. It’s been an horrific yet miraculous journey thus far. Thank you all so much for your prayers and support. Without them, there is no way we could have made it this far. God has used you to sustain us emotionally, spiritually, and even financially. Thank you. We will never be able to repay you in this lifetime. May God bless you all. Let me give you a status report.
I still cannot play the piano like I did before. But praise God, I can move my arm and make a fist. I’ve even begun practicing some elementary finger exercises. My left hand sounds like a beginning 5 to 6-year-old pianist’s. My four-year-old son has much better finger dexterity in his left hand than I have in mine, but at least I’m much farther along than six months ago. They say, the fingers come back last, and so I must be thankful that I can move them at all.
I can’t sing like before. But praise God that right now, my audience consists of my two children and they are more than delighted with a repertoire that consists of “Deep and Wide,” “I Will Make You Fishers of Men,” “Jesus Loves the Little Children,” and “Old McDonald had a Farm,” … or make that “Old McDonald had a Cat.” That, I can manage to belt out.
I thank God that sometimes I walk so well that I forget my cane. In fact, I think we’ve lost a couple around town. True, I walk very slowly with great effort and nagging discomfort, but six months ago, I couldn’t go anywhere without a wheelchair. I’m alive. I have my wife and kids. I’m getting better slowly but surely. God is so good to me. He is faithful. I am blessed. In fact, if it were not for the disabling pain, I’m sure that my range of motion has greatly improved. I know this because after I sit in the hot tub for a while, and my cramped muscles relax, I can straighten my arm above my head. This is huge because six months ago, my left arm hung limp, lifeless, and useless. God is giving me painful but precious progress.
I’m here on earth to witness this wonderful stage of my children’s growth and to love and nurture them and see them develop. It is here that I share with you an answer to my heart’s prayer. I think I’ve often shared in these blogs that the thing I’ve missed most was the ability to hold my children in my arms. Well today, by God’s amazing grace, I was able to do just that.
We were at Wendy’s. Since I was fasting, my family had chicken nuggets, french fries, and Frosties, and I had … water. Yet, I had no idea that I was in for the sweetest treat. I was standing near my son. My wife had left with our daughter to go order. It was then that my son looked up at me with his arms lifted in that gesture that means, “Daddy, pick me up.” Now you have to understand that it has been six long months since I picked him up, and in that time, he’s grown quite a bit. But what could I do? I felt a pang in my heart as I thought to myself, “I can’t do this. My arm will feel like it’s being wrenched out of its socket and I might drop him.” But then it was as though another voice gently told me, “Go ahead. Give it a try.” In a moment I may never forget, Micah put his arms around my neck and for the first time in six months, I picked him up and held him in my arms. Tears began to flow down my face and even though I was in a public place, I didn’t care. Weeping, I gave thanks to my Lord Jesus for hearing the cry of my heart and giving me such a gracious blessing. He is so good to me.
I understand that some people with brain injuries will struggle for three or four years before they feel like themselves again. If so, my journey is still in the beginning stages. But I cannot give up. Self-pity will not help. Please pray that God will give me courage and strength to take it one day at a time. Meanwhile, I must celebrate the victories and rejoice over the glimpses of God’s infinite love and grace. God bless you.
“…He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 1:6
Love,
Tim, Lillian, Micah, and Jojo
P.S., Occasionally, people who see me now assume that my stroke must have been very minor. They did not see me 6 months ago in a wheelchair. I want to be clear that I attribute all my progress, past and future, to the grace of God, and the kindness and generosity of His people. As evidence to the devastation of the stroke, I’ve included a picture of the MRI of my brain. The large bright white spot is the part of my brain that died. God has been healing and forging new neuropathways in order to reclaim and redeem the left side of my body, my speech, and my voice. To God be the glory!
