Stroke of Grace: Health Updates

As Whitney Houston used to sing, “I have nothing, nothing, nothing… if I don’t have you.” 

I can relate, but more in a spiritual and existential way. People say you don’t appreciate something until it’s gone. In retrospect, I didn’t realize how blessed I was. For about 28 years, I made my living by singing, playing the piano, and encouraging people with God’s Word. I worked with fellow musicians and artists, talked with an awful lot of young people, spoke at camps and conferences, and witnessed God’s mighty hand at work. Sure, there were exasperating board meetings, difficult people, and lots of gossiping and politicking behind my back. But then again, I got to visit people in the hospital and in nursing homes, cook meals for the elderly, and put on carnivals for little children. I was able to participate in service projects to beautify places of worship. I put on barbecues and activities for the young. I was there for all kinds of celebrations and get-togethers, you know, birthdays and graduations, weddings, and parties… a lot of parties. A pretty good gig, if you look at it that way!

Now, life as I knew it is gone. I can’t play the piano or sing well. I struggle with balance, strength, and endurance so much, that I can’t even do the simplest fix-it projects. I honestly expected to be 100% recovered by now, but I’ve only just begun to use my left hand in a feeble, clumsy and pathetic way. Pretty much every day, I struggle with some painful side effects directly and indirectly related to the stroke, from wrenching shoulder pain to crippling gout, from sleepless nights caused by excessive urination to terrible mouth sores, from extreme constipation to uncontrolled diarrhea (often only hours apart). I’ve never used this many pain medications in my life!

But you know, everything I had in the past was really given to me by God in the first place. A few of you may remember that I was a very different person as a child. Clumsy, socially awkward, I would have such terrible panic attacks that I would actually throw up at the most embarrassing of times. Once, I got so nervous playing softball at school that right in the middle of my turn at bat, I had to run behind the backstop, throw up, and then run back, pick up my bat and wait for the next pitch. True story. Another time, in middle school, near the end of my oral report, the entire class heard what sounded like a door knocker going crazy. It was actually my knees pounding together under the desk, loud enough for everyone to hear!

Though my family went to church, my relationship with God was secretive at best, non-existent at the worst. If someone had told me that someday I would make my living speaking and singing about God in front of people, I would never have believed them. But then, one summer before my senior year of high school, I realized I had to stop running away from God and instead, experience sweet surrender to Him. Though it was terrifying, I remember telling God that I would be willing to do anything He wanted, even if it meant ending up in a cannibal’s pot or cleaning toilets full time. I thought my young life was over, but then God filled my heart and mind with such love, peace, joy, and confidence, it radically changed me and the direction I was going. I knew God was going to take care of me and that His will for my life would be the most abundant and fulfilling one possible.

After this, God began opening doors for me to speak, sing, and play music in public. As my education grew, so did my opportunities to serve Him. I became increasingly comfortable in front of people and rather enjoyed the work of the ministry. I loved nothing more than communicating to people through word and song, the hope, love, and meaning that Jesus Christ could bring. For almost 30 years, that was my purpose in life and surprisingly, even my main source of employment.

Then on the very day that I addressed an auditorium full of little children about placing their trust in Jesus, a stroke shattered that life I knew. This most grueling and humbling test of faith has in some ways, reduced me back down to nothing. One could easily argue that I have far less ability now than when I was 17. 

Job 1:21 has never been more profound. “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will leave this life. The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away. Blessed be the name of the LORD.”

What do I do now? Professionally, I am stripped to the bone. All those wonderful gifts and abilities the Lord gave me, He has now taken away. What now?

Now, perhaps is the time for me to go back to the fundamentals. I must not focus on what I can do for God, but on who I am as His child, not on my contribution, but on my character, not on my Facebook followers, but on following the Faithful One. I must wrestle with the most foundational questions of self-worth, purpose, and fulfillment, and in this, my “dark time,” find answers in Christ alone.

 “Jesus saves!” Is He enough to save me now?

Sometimes my kids look for “buried treasure,” untold riches hidden in dark and secret places. I believe Jesus speaks of such through the prophet, Isaiah: “And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness – secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the Lord …” – Isaiah 45:3 (NLT)The most profound blessings of God can only be found in the darkest places of suffering.

Happy Treasure Hunting!

Because of Covid-19, I have not been receiving my normal battery of therapies.  Perhaps this is why I have been struggling lately with increased pain, balance problems, and many sleepless nights. It continues to be a constant battle. I appreciate your thoughtful prayers. I am reminded of Psalm 13.

How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Look on me and answer, LORD my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death, and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall. But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the LORD’s praise, for he has been good to me.

To again praise the Lord in song is indeed the cry of my heart. Thank you so much for your prayers. 

At least, that might be what my daughter thought. In our efforts to teach time management, we introduced an old-school kitchen timer to the kids. You know, the kind where you turn the dial and it ticks away with a big “Brrring!” at the end. Perhaps, full of wishful thinking, my little girl set the timer for a couple of minutes and then ran to me, proudly announcing, “Daddy, I set the timer for Jesus to come back!” When the King of Kings did not return at the appointed time, I tried to explain to my puzzled little girl how the Bible told us that although no one would know the exact day and time, Jesus (and Daniel) did give ample prophetic signs that would precede His coming to Earth again, especially, since 1948, when Israel became a nation again after 2 millennia. Bible scholars have recognized that the countdown of prophecy has begun its inevitable march and that Jesus’ return for His followers could take place any moment now

If you’d like just a few references and to see some of these spelled out, click here.

In any case, I can relate to my daughter. I, too, find that Jesus’ sense of timing is often very different than mine. When I want to take life slow and easy, He often wants me to take a bold leap of faith. When I want Him to answer my request right away, He often takes His sweet time. Honestly, I really thought I’d be 100% recovered from the stroke by now. The journey toward healing is longer, more grueling, and an awful lot slower than I thought. Then there was the time we found out about an amazing new treatment for stroke victims only available in Florida. That was right before Covid-19 broke out, obliterating our hopes of traveling to the Sunshine state for this miracle cure. What is taking God so long to heal me?

Maybe you can relate. With this Covid-19 thing, many are weary and anxious to get back to some kind of normalcy. Perhaps, you know of someone personally, who has fallen to this terrible virus. Maybe you are fearful for a friend or relative (We happen to have elderly parents and small children). Maybe your business or livelihood is threatened. Perhaps you are appalled at all the social, racial, and political unrest and injustice so prevalent around us.

Allow me to share with you a passage I’m trying (not always successfully) to apply to my own life.

James 5:7-10 (NLT)
Dear brothers and sisters, be patient as you wait for the Lord’s return. Consider the farmers who patiently wait for the rains in the fall and in the spring. They eagerly look for the valuable harvest to ripen. You, too, must be patient. Take courage, for the coming of the Lord is near. Don’t grumble about each other, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged. For look—the Judge is standing at the door!

For examples of patience in suffering, dear brothers and sisters, look at the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. We give great honor to those who endure under suffering. For instance, you know about Job, a man of great endurance. You can see how the Lord was kind to him at the end, for the Lord is full of tenderness and mercy.

Maybe it seems you’re waiting an awful long time for your “ship to come in.” That makes two of us! Let me close with this story.

Many years ago a retired missionary was coming home after a difficult, lonely, and sacrificial life time of service overseas. Returning on the same ship, there also happened to be a prominent head of state. As they prepared to disembark, the missionary noticed boisterous activity on the dock. There was a decorated platform, a gathering of dignitaries, a small but excited crowd, cheery welcome-home banners, and even a marching band. As they got off the ship, they were greeted with music, confetti, and speeches all for the returning political statesman, but nothing for the humble minister. The deflated missionary cried out in disgust, “Where’s my parade? Where are my commendations? Where is my welcome home?” After a brief silence, he heard the tender whisper of his Lord, “But my child, you aren’t home yet.”

For those who wait. 

Thanks for your prayers. 
Tim, Lillian, Micah, and Jojo 

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. – Galatians 6:9 (NIV)

Tonight, I held my “three-year-old” daughter for the very last time for all eternity … Yeah, she just turned 4. 🙂 Happy Birthday, Jojo! It is bittersweet for both me and my wife. Our little girl is growing up too fast. Of course, we are very proud of the precocious, personality-packed firecracker she is becoming. 

On one hand, we can’t wait to see how her God-given gifts, talents, and potential will blossom. On the other hand, our hearts ache because she is no longer 3. We so cherished her “3-speech,” you know, things like, “terry-oppy sauce”(teriyaki), “eyebrowns” (eyebrows), and “apple-lanche” (avalanche). Right now, she is screaming, “Micah! I’m 4! I’m a big kid now!

I suppose many parents can relate to my sentimentality. What I find especially difficult to swallow, however, is the thought that this entire, very special year of her life found me disabled and crippled by this stroke. I feel like I’ve missed out on so many wonderful moments. 

Continuing my rehab efforts, I took a walk around the neighborhood tonight with a sturdy walking stick in my hand for balance. Even with the Covid-19 warnings, there always seems to be people in the streets. I noticed a dad and his small kids coming my way. They were happily skipping on the sidewalk with the girl riding up on his shoulders.    Suddenly, bitter envy tore through my psyche. “Why was I walking alone, struggling to keep from falling?” “Why  wasn’t I carefree, running playfully with my children?” “Why wasn’t my little girl riding upon my shoulders?” I feel as though I’ve lost a precious, non-returnable year of my little princess’s life. Where are you, God? What have you done to me?

As I’ve shared before with you, my biggest struggle has got to be accepting and aligning myself with the stroke as part of God’s plan for me. Now, you can argue about God’s sovereignty and whether He has a permissive and/or a perfect will. You can debate between Satan’s role and my responsibility in all this. But the fact of the matter remains, regardless of your theological perspective, God allowed this to happen to me. I have no choice but to live under circumstances that are far from my preference and choosing. I am in a place I don’t want to be, and I am staying here a lot longer than I hoped. What comfort is there for me? 

Recently, a favorite scripture verse of mine has been brought under new light. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'”

Yet, I am reminded that the context of this passage has many similarities to my situation. Jeremiah was delivering this message to Ancient Jews who were under Babylonian captivity for 70 long years. Thus, they too, were in a place they did not want to be. They were suffering under bitter circumstances, they were subject to forces they resented, and this, for a lot longer than they wanted. 

What was God’s advice to them? Build houses, plant gardens, get married, have children, and seek the prosperity of your city. In other words, bloom where you’re planted; you are going to be there for awhile. 

If you’ve been receiving our blogs in the past, you may have read that last year, on Jojo’s birthday, I had hoped that by now, the stroke would be a distant memory. Obviously, that’s not the case. Although I’m very grateful for the improvement and healing I received from the Lord, I’m still very far from 100%. I’m still living the nightmare.

So what can I learn? Like the Ancient Isrealites, I need to quit feeling sorry for myself, quit looking back at what I used to be, and focus on the here and now. Bloom where I’m planted, and whether I like it or not, I’m planted right here. And here is where I need to play the hand I’ve been dealt. To be faithful to God (and successful in life for that matter), means to make the best of what I have right here, right now. God promises that in turn, He will prosper me and that His plans for me are ultimately good.

How are you, dear friend? Do you find yourself in less than ideal circumstances? Is it getting increasingly difficult to keep resentment or self-pity at a distance? Is it hard to remain positive in a negative situation? Maybe it’s time to accept your circumstances and make the most in them. Bloom where you are planted. Allow me to humbly encourage you with the next part of Jeremiah’s message. 

“Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” – Jeremiah 29:12-13

God’s true prosperity awaits, but it is only realized when we seek Him first. (Matthew 6.33)
Remember when I said I felt that I lost an entire year out of my daughter’s life? Well, God has a way of redeeming what seems hopelessly lost. The other day, I asked my children, “Who’s the best Mommy in the world?” As I had hoped, they enthusiastically pointed at my wife and said, “Mommy! She’s the best!” But then my little girl surprised me, looking up at me, she said, “And you’re the best Daddy in the world!” How she chose to bestow upon a broken, discouraged, and crippled man such a blessing, I’ll never know, but I do know it demonstrates to me God’s way of exchanging Beauty for Ashes.

“To all who mourn … he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair.” – Isaiah 61:3

Thank you for your support and prayers. 

That’s actually my son’s Chinese name (梁佳信). It comes from Romans 10:15, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!”  Now, I do happen to think that my son is quite beautiful. Thick, full hair … dark, distinctive eyebrows …  long, lush eyelashes. I consider him quite good-looking, perhaps it’s because he looks so much like my wife! (Ironically, my wife thinks our daughter is most beautiful because she looks like a little female version of me! 🙂 ) But beautiful feet? See, the Bible here is talking about the perception of beauty as a feeling when a messenger delivers anxiously awaited good news. During this time of Covid-19, good news is especially refreshing. One of my doctors just called me with some good news.

As some of you may know, I have been struggling with abnormally high blood sugar in spite of losing 35+ pounds before the stroke. I don’t mind sharing with you how frustrated I was to actually lose what was for me, a significant amount of weight, and then have a stroke anyway! 

After the stroke, I increased my efforts to eliminate carbs and intermittently fast. Even though I continued to lose weight on the outside, my blood sugar still remained dangerously high. Where was this sugar coming from? I felt hopeless.

Now you have to understand, back in 2014, my doctors started me on Glipizide and Metformin when they diagnosed me as prediabetic. Once I began the medications, my diabetes, instead of improving, worsened. My weight began to balloon. The doctors kept increasing the dosages of my meds, eventually putting me on insulin.

In December 2018 (pre-stroke), my A1C was a frightening 12.5 (the cut-off for diabetes is 6.5). In addition to insulin, the doctor strongly suggested a plant-based diet. I was stuck between the proverbial rock and hard place since whenever I tried plant-based proteins like quinoa and legumes, my blood sugar would actually spike and I would gain weight. I prayed to God for mercy and direction. Let me share with you what I feel is a result of God’s grace upon me and my family.

Now many of you have been following our journey for over a year now. You know the crazy rollercoaster ride it has been for us. I won’t burden you with all the complicated details* but let me quickly review what God, in His amazing grace, has accomplished.

Tim’s A1C
Dec 2018	12.5
May 2019 (after stroke)	10.3
September 2019	9
January 2020	9.4
March 2020	8.4

At this point, I was completely without insulin or other diabetes drugs. Since my A1C actually rose from 9 to 9.4 (perhaps due to the coincidence of complicated root canal surgery and anticipating a stressful move), my doctor was not happy. He said he wanted me to drop another 20+ pounds! I told him that was highly unlikely since I hadn’t been that light since high school, but I would continue my efforts. 

And now for the good news.

This past week, I went back for lab work. A couple of days later, my doctor called, excited to tell me that … (drum roll please) my A1C had dropped to 7.1! Also, my triglycerides, HDL, and LDL were all well within healthy limits. This is with absolutely no diabetes medicine including insulin and with cutting my statin (cholesterol) meds by half. My doctor even said, “I wouldn’t be surprised if you kept going like this, that you will see an A1C of 6.0!” God is healing me! Thank you for your continued prayers and support. God is answering your prayers. But I still have more work to do!

Please pray that I will continue to recover from the stroke. I’ve been having balance problems and we haven’t been receiving various beneficial therapies because of Covid-19. There is also an exciting yet controversial stroke treatment. We want to look into it, but the only doctor we know of who offers this is in Florida. https://youtu.be/6p4jW0i5xKU We would like to further investigate this when it is safer to travel with our children. 

But I am thankful for the good news, especially for the Good News that Jesus offers complete forgiveness and reconciliation with God the Father. Someday all sicknesses will be healed, all injustices will be made right, and all promises will be fully realized. Every tear will be wiped away and we will enjoy absolute perfection forever without end. Hope to see you there. 
Tim

* If you really want to know the details of my agonizing journey and how God lowered my A1C and helped me lose 50 pounds so far, we have a short synopsis of relevant specifics we can send you. Just email my wife.

Last Sunday was Mother’s Day. It reminds me how terrible it was just a year ago when the stroke forced my wife and I to be apart from the kids. Allow me to refer to an excerpt from last year.

Sunday May 12th, Mother’s Day (2019)

Today I cried, not just a tear or two, but I broke down weeping like a baby. It was meant to be a joyous time. 

A wonderful family from church was so loving they offered to drive Lillian’s parents and the kids out to come see us to celebrate Mother’s Day together. We were so touched by their kindness. We got to see our kids again. Of course, I was in a wheelchair, couldn’t play ball, couldn’t run and chase, couldn’t help them with their food. I was literally half a man. But they were here. It felt so good to hold them one at a time on my good lap, embrace them with my one good arm, and be close again.

But then it happened. My daughter realized it was time to go and she began to cry, which made my wife cry, (at this point I remember my 2-year-old daughter screaming, “Daddy!”) and then I completely lost it. I couldn’t stop the emotional pain, and the rage was incomprehensible. My wife left me in my room to get the kids into their carseats for the long drive home. I asked her to close the door behind her. Feeling like I was about to burst, I tried to let out a scream, a wail, thinking I could release some of the anguish deep inside of me, but the stroke had affected my vocal cords. I heard a yelp, like a dog getting hit by a car, and then silence. A great welling up of pain left my face contorted, but no sound came out. I just sat in my wheelchair, completely helpless in a silent scream…*

The reason I’m looking back is to remind myself how very blessed I am to be reunited with my family this year. Sure, I’m still far from 100% and it’s easy to become discouraged if I dwell on everything I still can’t do, but I am so thankful to be here on my sofa right now with my little girl snuggled next to me, her tiny hand on my lap. I asked my children if they remembered how Daddy and Mommy were far away a year ago, and they assured me that it was still firm in their memory. Perhaps Micah put it best when he said, “Oh, I miss Ahma (Grandma) and Ahgong (Grandpa) and Auntie Priscilla (babysitters), but I’d miss you more if you weren’t here.” So would I, Micah. So would I.

I am so thankful that during this time of Covid-19, I’m “sheltering-in-place” with the people I love the most. Yet, I realize that some of us may not be so fortunate at this time. Some of you graciously reading this blog might be going through a time of loneliness. You might be missing some dear loved one you are separated from because of travel restrictions or social distancing.

Now that I think about it, the greatest social distancing known to man might be that of separating the living from those who have gone on before us. Our hearts go out to you if you have recently said good-bye to a dear friend or family member who has passed on.
But therein lies the Shining Hope for those who know Jesus Christ. Jesus put it this way, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; … Do you believe this?” (John 11:25 NIV) Jesus is referring to His promise to each of His followers that there will be a great Reunion in store that will last for all eternity. God promises all of His children that we will enjoy absolute perfection forever and ever with Him and with each other, including those who have gone on before us. 

Even though I’m only middle-aged, I already have dear friends who have graduated from this life. I miss them. The void they leave behind simply cannot be filled. The years I spend without them will never be relived, but thank God those years will be infinitely overshadowed by the eternity we will share together. All who trust Jesus Christ will finally be together forever. And guess what? In Heaven, there’s no such thing as social distancing!

“But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God.” – John 1:12 (NLT)

“And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” – Revelation 21:4 Thank you for your love and support.

* If you’re interested you can always read the rest of the 2019 blog on our website. https://www.leungministries.org/mothers-day/

I have to confess to succumbing to a social cliche. It has become commonplace for people to take pictures of their food. You know, diners will take the obligatory photo of their meal and comment on whatever restaurant they patronize, often going on and on as if they were a professional restaurant critic working for the local newspaper… er, I mean blog, since newspapers are rapidly becoming passe.

Since we haven’t been going out to eat, I sometimes take pictures of our own food that we make here at the Leung house. Someday, just for kicks, we might put a recipe online. In any case, I’ve attached a photo of last night’s dinner. (Don’t worry, I really am going somewhere with this.)

We were quite excited to sit down to one of our new favorites, Sichuan boiled pork! The heady aroma of garlic and bean paste, the intensity of the chilies, the supple succulence of the meat and vegetables, and the tongue-numbing “mala” of Sichuan peppercorns make this dish so incredibly satisfying! Of course, my wife was even more satisfied since she had her portion accompanied by freshly steamed jasmine rice and a cooling bowl of ice cream afterwards (both of which due to my low carb diet, I had to do without.) It turns out, I really could have used that bowl of ice cream though. Let me explain. 

After prayer, we jumped in, with me not even getting to the hot sizzling bowl of red until AFTER my first course of green vegetables. When I finally got to the main event, I could hardly wait. My chopsticks were a flying blur. I grabbed what I thought was a generous mouthful of pork covered in green onion and cilantro, and began enthusiastically chewing until I realized there was “something very wrong with this picture.” Unbeknownst to me, there was actually an entire chili pepper hidden in the middle of that big bite! It was so spicy I actually started to hiccup uncontrollably. Panic ensued. I cried out for my wife to come to my rescue, and she did by bringing me cup after cup of half-and-half. I’m glad to report that very slowly, gradually, the casein in the milk bonded with the capsaicin in my mouth and pulled the searing chili oil away from my tortured tongue. What an ordeal!

This incident is kind of descriptive of this past year. It has definitely been a painful and stressful roller coaster ride that was, as my friend put it, “Unplanned and unwanted.”  Even now, I’m trying to manage the PTSD and fall out from the stroke. I am glad, however, that like the working of the dairy, God is providing slow and gradual healing. 
Please pray for me that God will graciously accelerate my rate of healing so that I will be able to keep my daughter safe when I have to babysit her by myself in the Fall. Right now, I can’t even take care of myself! I must admit, I’m a little scared.

Still, things could be a whole lot worse. I just read an article about people in Hong-Kong living in cage homes during Covid-19. Imagine social distancing when your entire living space is less than 100 square feet! It is simply unthinkable by Western standards. We are fortunate indeed. If it were not for the grace of God, we could be living in a similar situation.

My family and I are so grateful to have people like you in our corner. Because of your gracious support, God has provided what we need to keep going. Thank you so much. God continues to use you to bless us through your prayers and gifts. May God bless you richly. 

Psalm 27:13-14

I remain confident of this:
    I will see the goodness of the Lord
    in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
    be strong and take heart
    and wait for the Lord.

One year ago, about this time, on Hitler’s birthday, my wife held an “Easter Egg-stravaganza” at her church where I was the guest speaker. I actually dressed up like an angel, complete with feathered wings. On that day, I would have what would become a crippling and debilitating stroke that left me wheelchair bound and flat on my back in the hospital for over 3 weeks. Thank God that on the day of the event, He miraculously allowed the nausea and dizziness to subside just long enough for me to get out a brief message through which at least 32 children prayed to receive Christ. That was the very last thing that happened before my life as I knew it was torn away from me in a ruthless and devastating turn of events. I have not been the same since.

This year, because of Covid-19, plans to have another Egg-stravaganza had to be scrambled . Instead, my wife shared online ideas and resources parents could use with kids at home to celebrate the Easter story. We adjusted our scope from an “invite-everyone-you-know” outreach, complete with cotton candy, bounce houses, and hundreds of people, to our little Leung Family indoor egg hunt. My wife and I got up early, stuffed colored plastic eggs with goodies and hid them around the house. Then we woke up the kids, armed them with little baskets, and let them go wild.

Before that, however, we had our very own kid-friendly Easter service. As Christians, we prefer the term, Resurrection Sunday, because this is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the dead, eventually appearing to well over 500 eye-witnesses (1 Corinthians 15:6). History tells us that many of those people were executed, refusing to recant their testimony that God raised Jesus from the dead, according to Biblical prophecy, and that Jesus had actually appeared to them in the flesh.

We tried to explain to our kids that since Jesus rose from the grave, we are now free from guilt and condemnation, we have an eternal home in paradise waiting for us, and we have God’s comfort and companionship throughout our life here on Earth. But Resurrection Sunday takes on added meaning for me now, because the Bible tells me that the very power that raised Jesus from the dead is at work in every single believer (Ephesians 1:19-20). I have access and privilege to this limitless power that overcomes even the grave (Ephesians 3:20). 

During this unprecedented time of global uncertainty and personal loss, I can face the challenge each moment brings, knowing that the Resurrecting Power of Christ is alive and working in me, even in the aftermath of a devastating stroke and during this time of Covid-19.

It doesn’t matter what I’m going through. “This ain’t no thing. God’s got this.”

“Because He lives, I can face tomorrow. Because He lives, all fear is gone. Because I know He holds the future, and life is worth the living, just because He lives!” 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1czuvSCXrUE

The coronavirus has affected us all in ways great and small. For some, it’s a minor inconvenience or change in lifestyle. For others, it could be potentially life threatening or career changing. I hope the impact upon your life has been relatively minor. I suppose we all have reason to dislike Covid-19, but I really do hate it, and this is why.

In early March, we had found something on YouTube that brought me a lot of hope and optimism. Apparently, there is a doctor who uses the drug, Etanercept, in an unconventional and controversial treatment for stroke patients. This drug, commonly known as Embrel, produces not only significant results in some, but at the risk of sounding cliche, miraculous results in others. 

In video after video, we witnessed patients who came in stuttering and stammering, but after the treatment, regained eloquence and clarity.  A woman, walking with great difficulty, was soon salsa dancing with her husband. Men, who entered the clinic, disabled in their hands and feet, suddenly regained their finger dexterity, demonstrated martial arts moves, and even began jogging up-and-down the hallway. I watched in tears as I envied their excitement, joy of life, restored agility, and sharpness of mind. It seemed too good to be true. We called the office and spoke to a receptionist. We were shocked at the price and dismayed at how far away their only clinic was. Still, we committed it to prayer and the more we thought about it, the more we realized that we had to take a chance on this new and unusual treatment. We decided to call for an initial consultation the first chance we got.

Around the same time, my son came home with an eye infection. This soon progressed in typical fashion, at first a fever, then a prolonged illness, next his sister caught the bug, and finally, so did I. However, when I got the infection, it turned into severe laryngitis and I couldn’t talk at all. No big deal, we would simply call the office when my speech returned. One day turned into two, which turned into a week, and then two weeks… then everything went Covid-19 crazy. Mandates started flying from the lips of our government leaders. The nightly news began to talk about hotspots like New York, New Jersey, and sure enough, Florida, where the only clinic for this avant-garde treatment existed.

Now, as I’m finally getting my voice back, it’s probably unsafe and irresponsible for me to travel to Florida with my family of four. Who knows, we might not be able to enter the Sunshine state or come back to California once we leave. In any case, Lillian has told me in no uncertain terms that traveling to Florida during the time of coronavirus is a definite no-go. So when I tell you that I really hate Covid-19, it’s more than merely not going to Starbucks for my morning espresso. It’s a vendetta. The coronavirus is ruining my chance to regain any semblance of my former self. It is keeping me imprisoned, not just “shelter-in-place,” but imprisoned to this lame, insipid, and loathsome disability that I have to endure every day. I hate Covid-19! 

Ironically, I’m struggling with this major disappointment on Palm Sunday. I find it ironic because when Jesus rode into Jerusalem over 2000 years ago according to Zechariah’s prophecy, it also spawned major disappointment … in everyone. The people would become dismayed that Jesus’ mission was not to deliver them from their Roman oppressors. Jesus was heartbroken because He knew the people heralding Him would soon turn on Him, demanding that He die on a cross. The disciples, elated by the swell of public support, would soon be so distraught that each of them would flee for their lives, hiding in shame and secrecy. Yes, there would be terrible disappointment! 

So what do we do when we face crushing disappointment with God? We trust Him, knowing that disappointment now means greater blessing later.

• Though Jesus wouldn’t deliver the Jews politically, He would soon deliver the whole world spiritually.
• Though the disciples would never reign on Earth, they would eventually reign with Christ in Heaven.
• Though Jesus would be rejected by the local people, someday every knee will bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. (Philippians 2:10-11)
• Though Jesus would have to lay down His life on the cross, God would raise Him back to life to reign as everlasting King. (Luke 1:33)

Even though no one received the immediate gratification they wanted, it was better for all that Jesus gave His life a ransom for the world. (Matthew 20:28)

Pray that I will trust His intentions for me are always good, no matter what the circumstances may be at the moment. A “No,” now, just means a much bigger “Yes,” tomorrow. As Tony Campolo used to say, “It may be Friday night…But Sunday’s comin!”

P.S., Here is a news clip on this controversial treatment:

At the very least, Covid-19 has been a major intrusion into our lives. Even more, perhaps it has caused us fear and isolation. I pray that you and your family have not suffered any loss of life or loved ones. 

Maybe some of you have seen this national global crisis as an opportunity to shine. It is said that during the Middle Ages, the Black Death hit Europe and the Christians distinguished themselves by actually going into the cities to help those stricken with the plague. Perhaps  you as well, in your own way, have taken this crisis as an opportunity to serve others and show God’s love to those around you.

It’s important to understand that Covid-19 exists not because God is cruel or negligent, but because there is something terribly wrong with the world as we know it. Sickness, war, cruelty, and injustice were never a part of God’s original intention for humankind. God created man and woman to live in perfect harmony with the rest of creation and God Himself. He designed us to live with Him in a perfect Paradise. 

Unfortunately, because of the selfishness and shortsightedness of our ancestors and our own self-serving autonomy, we each have rebelled against God in our own ways. Like people who are asymptomatic carriers of Covid-19, many of us go through life not realizing our alienation from a loving God and His plans of blessing for our lives. We are sick with a disease far more insipid than even Covid-19. The Bible calls this fundamental human condition, sin, and every single person was born into it (Romans 3:23). Now the scary thing about the coronavirus is that there is no vaccine. However, there is some anecdotal hope that a certain drug used in the past for malaria has been administered with success to those with Covid-19. What a shame that those who have already lost their lives to this deadly virus were not made aware of the efficacy of this drug in time.

Likewise, for the fundamental problem of all humanity, there is a mighty cure for us that cannot only bless this mortal life, but more importantly, grant us eternal life as God intended, in Heavenly perfection (Romans 6:23). That cure is to place our faith and hope in Jesus Christ and Jesus alone. 

The Bible teaches that His sacrificial death was for us, to give us abundant life here on Earth (John 10:9-10) and everlasting life in the hereafter (John 3:16). My friends, do you know this eternal security? Are there others near and dear to you who do not yet enjoy this assurance of hope in Christ? Then please do not hesitate to make your (and their) future secure. Place your faith and trust in Jesus right now so that you may know unshakable peace, no matter what your circumstance is.

“If you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” – Roman’s 10:9

“But to as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God.” – John 1:12

If you’ve never received Jesus as your personal Friend and Leader, you can do so with this simple prayer:

Dear God, I thank you for sending Jesus to die for my sake that I might be   forgiven and have a right relationship with you. I confess that I have lived independently from you and now ask that you come into my life. Forgive me for all I’ve ever done wrong and be my life leader. Help me to live that full, abundant life that you have planned for me. Thank you for preparing a place for me in your Heaven forever. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

If you said that prayer, kindly send me an email and let me know so that I can encourage you and help you to grow in your new life with Jesus. Don’t hesitate to join in on one of the many online church services during this shelter-in-place period. 

https://www.baysideonline.com

https://saddleback.com/watch

https://elevationchurch.org

God bless you, my friends.