The other day, as my kids were lying down in the middle of my mom’s living room, my little girl asked me, “Are you big and strong yet, Daddy?”
It caught me off guard. “Uh… not quite yet, Sweetie, but Daddy’s getting better.”
My son then piped up. “[Sigh,] This stroke is taking a long time! Why does it take so long?” Not knowing quite how to answer him, I mumbled something about that’s why we need to pray. My son then asked, “Do we pray so that your stroke will be healed faster?”
“…Uh, yes son, please do that.”
I was floored. My son had put into simple words what I was feeling. “Why so long, God? I know You hear my prayers. In the Bible, You healed people miraculously, immediately, and completely. Why not me? Why not now?” I was glad my children soon got distracted with something else.
All through that day, I continued to ponder the question. “What is taking You so long?” Sure, I know it probably has something to do with character building or patience, or some awful lesson that I’ve always tried to avoid. What would it hurt if God, just for once, gave me what I wanted, when I wanted it, the way I wanted it?
My answer came later that night. It was family night, and so we took the kids to their favorite bookstore. This bookstore happens to be their favorite because it also carries many toys. Usually they love it. Somehow, we conditioned them to think that the toys at the bookstore were only to play with while they were there. There would always come the time when the toys were to go back to the shelves where they belonged and we would go home. Usually it works. This time, it didn’t.
Why? Because the boy saw IT. Not just any toy, but THE TOY. See, he’s crazy about Battlebots. It’s a TV series that pitted real engineers against one another by having them create battling robots that destroy each other inside a plexiglass-contained arena. There are catchy names, flying chunks of metal, fire breathing mechanical monsters, and screaming announcers. To be completely honest, it was I who turned the boy onto the show in the first place. But that was when we had Cable. Now, the boy knows how to surf the net and look for video clips of his favorite bots: “Tombstone,” “Witch Doctor,” and “Ice Wave.” He paces back and forth on the living room floor spinning his hands pretending to be a “bot.” “Look, Daddy, look! I’m a Battlebot!” And then he dramatically acts out a fiery knock-out blow.
He’s been bugging us for a toy arena with two remote controlled bots. It was completely unexpected that he would find it at this bookstore. Of course, he wanted to take it home right then and there. The box was damaged, the toy was overpriced, and although expensive, we were planning on giving it to him for Christmas. He did not take the idea of waiting well. By the time I saw him, he was clutching the box, screaming and sobbing uncontrollably. “But I want it now! Why can’t I have it now?!” With his face drenched with tears, I tried to reason with him, explaining that we were planning on getting it for him, just not now. He just cried louder. Finally, I told my wife to take him outside while I accompanied my little girl to put her stuffed animals back on the shelves where they would “sleep for the night.”
Ten minutes later, he was still sobbing when I went outside to see him and Mommy. Here was the toy that he fantasized about all day long. He played Battlebots. He wanted to be a Battlebot. And when at long last, he finds his life’s greatest passion, his Daddy says … “No. Not yet.” Of course he grieved as though his best friend died. Believe me, it was tough for me to stick to my guns and not give into my poor, heartbroken child.
On the way home, it occurred to me that I was an awful lot like my son. “Why can’t God heal me now? Why does it take so long? What good is there in all these other prolonged and painful health problems? Why doesn’t God just put an end to all my suffering and discomfort?”
Like my son, I did not understand the benefit of waiting. (James 1:2-4) From his perspective, he was unable to see Christmas morning, when all the other children will be opening up their gifts and he had none. From his perspective, he couldn’t appreciate the life lesson of delayed gratification. He didn’t understand that if we did give him everything he wanted, whenever he wanted, that it would be a terrible disservice to him in the future. He couldn’t possibly fathom the benefits of self-discipline, the joy of anticipation, and that learning to wait was crucial to his development as a person.
Likewise, from my earthly perspective, there is no way for me to fully know why God does or doesn’t do what I want. (Isaiah 55:9) The fact of the matter is that God always answers the prayers of His children, but His answers are, “Yes,” “No,” and “Wait.” I like “yes,” I don’t like “no,” and “wait” drives me up a wall. But those feelings reveal my immaturity. There’s no way I could understand God’s ways. I don’t see what He sees. I don’t know what He knows. And if I’m to have the faith that pleases God, I have to believe that He loves me even when I’m disappointed, even when I suffer loss, even when the pain doesn’t end, even when my circumstances look dire. Can I believe that God loves me even when He says, “No”?
Are you going through a period of frustration, confusion, or disappointment? Do you cry out to God again and again without the answer you long to receive? Are you going through a period where the pain seems to never end? Then look up and know that behind the dark clouds there is a God who loves you and still has a wonderful plan for you. If you are His child, all that He allows in your life will somehow result in your ultimate good forever and ever. Though everything around you may tell you otherwise, believe that your Heavenly Father loves you. He proved it on the cross. Hold onto His love and don’t let go.
“I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you. Again I will build you, and you shall be built,…” – Jeremiah 31:3-4
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” – Deuteronomy 31:6